Ed Ponce

{"_createdAt":"2025-08-16T17:32:17Z","_id":"blog","_rev":"r6y3VL5o4hyzrRaEJaarF1","_system":{"base":{"id":"blog","rev":"0kZPXms1Imn9mJJJfrDfF7"}},"_type":"blog","_updatedAt":"2025-12-14T04:13:41Z","permalink":"/journal/","posts":[{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:55:29Z","_id":"55552bc0-a3f8-463a-b221-0d0be6ea1ab7","_rev":"r6y3VL5o4hyzrRaEJa3Rjg","_system":{"base":{"id":"55552bc0-a3f8-463a-b221-0d0be6ea1ab7","rev":"77wjsJstB4VOoG1H1lblLE"}},"_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-12-13T21:42:36Z","body":[{"_key":"7753f34742ba","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a4b3610627b8","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It feels like we’ve been looking for perfection since forever. We favor the clean, the shiny and the symmetrical just like we seek for definitions, formulas and frameworks. It’s the human thing to do. Ironically enough, perfect is not human at all."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8984e583758b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3dbd779d09ab","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Perfection assumes processes can always get to a final outcome. In other words, it implies there’s an ultimate solution for any situation. Which is as absurd as it sounds. Everything in life shows a bit of nuance and unpredictability. Therefore, perfection, as a concept, is inherently unnatural; but it’s also arbitrary. Let me elaborate."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"20b5ab946a88","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5f0fef490ee3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What are the standards for perfection? Straight lines, smooth finishes and Helvetica aren’t exactly neutral, let alone perfect. Life doesn’t follow grids or formulas. Nothing is ever solid black or pure white. Nature couldn’t care less about Bauhaus or whatever some white dude said mid-20th century. All efforts to define what flawlessness and excellence look like are culturally biased. It’s impossible to take everything and everyone ever into consideration."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6747e2b594da","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8f89a8a80aed","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Attempting to describe perfection is futile-it’s fighting against the natural, background-diverse and innovative. We should instead embrace the ever-changing, unpredictable and organic because that’s what fills our identities and our craft with character and authenticity."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"50673dfd34c8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d866e1ad90cd","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I’m not saying we should forget science and honor ignorance but that we humans (who actually exist, as opposed to marketing personas or movie characters) aren’t completely rational 100% of the time, so we should stop pretending like we are."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"67970600ff9b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4d6515fa2931","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Will we ever let go of our fear of being wrong, losing control and getting old?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"blockquote"},{"_key":"6e99ac117c82","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"64fc2e590713","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Embracing the ephemeral and entropic nature of the universe lets us unlock the unique story only our individual experiences behold. And that, in itself, is as perfect as it gets."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2020-08-24","description":[{"_key":"9903f273ca60","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e352739f6b02","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Life is anything but perfect, yet we seem fixated on the idea that it should. Are we missing out on the beauty of the organic and nuanced?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","_id":"image-8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78-1200x1200-webp","_rev":"ZLCqqZ0s5nw2cujJL5GFTt","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","assetId":"8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"eBNTtGM]E0?G?c^-t8gMspMx-;t5tQjeIVK6ITj0XSRh4-%3wONX.7","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1,"height":1200,"width":1200},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,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","palette":{"_type":"sanity.imagePalette","darkMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#58647f","foreground":"#fff","population":0.63,"title":"#fff"},"darkVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#727e06","foreground":"#fff","population":0,"title":"#fff"},"dominant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#857c86","foreground":"#fff","population":3.3,"title":"#fff"},"lightMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#a4c3b0","foreground":"#000","population":1.44,"title":"#fff"},"lightVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#d0f3d3","foreground":"#000","population":0.06,"title":"#000"},"muted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#857c86","foreground":"#fff","population":3.3,"title":"#fff"},"vibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#dcf311","foreground":"#000","population":0.38,"title":"#000"}}},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78-1200x1200.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78-1200x1200.webp","sha1hash":"8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78","size":139380,"uploadId":"3kVDeyXN0BboJXSiMKYJbTkpI8aQiOKg","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/8c2116e90b74e725a0b7ded1cb2a181589fbdf78-1200x1200.webp"}},"slug":"200824","title":"Can we do better than perfect?"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:56:48Z","_id":"c424c27c-ca3a-4105-88d1-618589ae1f6e","_rev":"azFv652yApQsa6RUFDyOD2","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T04:56:58Z","body":[{"_key":"4896cf808787","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c43199c24fb8","_type":"span","text":"This pandemic has affected the life of every one of us in one way or another. In addition to that, "},{"_key":"709fbae58bfe","_type":"span","marks":["712dc81c60d0"],"text":"Greta Thunberg"},{"_key":"6169184489a4","_type":"span","text":", the Black Lives Matter movement and feminism justifiably remind us there are still quite a few other problems urging our attention and action right now. It’s expected we feel overwhelmed, impotent, or "},{"_key":"41fc8eba9a82","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"lonely"},{"_key":"9c5fa0e562c2","_type":"span","text":" during these times of crisis."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"712dc81c60d0","_type":"link","href":"https://youtu.be/4fwEG8XK1uU"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6951304eddd0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"62249262c3b9","_type":"span","text":"It’s especially easy to fall victim to loneliness because, like hunger and sleep, it’s a physiological reaction. We, humans, have strived as a species thanks to our social skills. Through evolution, we’ve developed some reliance on others for security, warmth and protection. And loneliness arises to tell us we’re not meeting those basic needs."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c5b58c5cf0c8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6eb6feb55617","_type":"span","text":"Loneliness is an experience we will all inevitably face now and then. No internet connection or amount of social skills will save us from that feeling, because it is subjective. In fact, our modern lives make it harder to connect with others in the ways our ancestors grew used to; we’re always just "},{"_key":"ec3a300c1a08","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"too"},{"_key":"77552edeb61b","_type":"span","text":" busy, so cutting social interactions to free up some time is often the more convenient alternative. Some of us end up in a vicious cycle of isolating, then feeling lonely and facing its consequences (such as perceiving hostility from those around, feeling misunderstood and assuming the worst) and then isolating even more as a result."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a84443c770ed","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ce0be7a2c8e6","_type":"span","text":"Yes, loneliness is no joke. It could come with confusion, sadness and pain. But time alone allows us to go deeper into our feelings and identity, making us explore corners of ourselves we would otherwise never visit. Dealing with our darkest thoughts gives us the tools to build deeper, more sincere connections with others."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"85c93759b529","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fbda4f2d6587","_type":"span","text":"Getting stronger is not an option, though, but the only way forward. Although hard to measure, not a single day passes without us making any progress. Fear of the unknown could tell us otherwise, but we’re more than capable of enduring whatever life has for us."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"027149a63254","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f9bdbae934a5","_type":"span","text":"Let everything happen to you\nbeauty and terror\nJust keep going\nNo feeling is final\n"},{"_key":"ea31db945aa4","_type":"span","marks":["0c6a08e23bf2"],"text":"Rainer Maria Rilke"}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"0c6a08e23bf2","_type":"link","href":"https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/95915-let-everything-happen-to-you-beauty-and-terror-just-keep"}],"style":"blockquote"},{"_key":"2dae03ad1e60","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b2472adf6e95","_type":"span","text":"So enjoy the rain! Make it fun to be around solitude. Be your own guest, treat yourself-do whatever it takes. Every single one of us come from the same soil and breathe the same air as much as we all crave happiness and feel clueless from time to time. It’s harder to feel lonely after internalizing that we’re all already connected."}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2020-06-28","description":[{"_key":"bde8c92ee4d8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c1b481267732","_type":"span","text":"It’s raining outside as I write this and, with quarantine being the new normal, we’re all struggling with loneliness, together."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:36Z","_id":"image-4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e-1200x750-webp","_rev":"o3ZTn5zlR0cgiJYtXIflJE","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:36Z","assetId":"4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"VK9@bVxuxuWBt7_Noft7Rjof?cj]WBWAay%MayWBj[WB","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1.6,"height":750,"width":1200},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/2wBDAAYEBQYFBAYGBQYHBwYIChAKCgkJChQODwwQFxQYGBcUFhYaHSUfGhsjHBYWICwgIyYnKSopGR8tMC0oMCUoKSj/2wBDAQcHBwoIChMKChMoGhYaKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCj/wAARCAANABQDASIAAhEBAxEB/8QAFwABAQEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABgAEBf/EACQQAAICAQIFBQAAAAAAAAAAAAEDAgQABSEGByMxQRESIjKR/8QAFgEBAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgAB/8QAGBEAAwEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAESERP/2gAMAwEAAhEDEQA/AC2r8wH07U411rnDwZA4V1fjPWG6mlq7xSk+nSiNszWYxtNBmACB4zn3q61uUREE798qZmIfp5idOIZSh7gNyZd8sArZ8frH8ywdGOEf/9k="},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e-1200x750.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e-1200x750.webp","sha1hash":"4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e","size":45362,"uploadId":"YLksmxJ3sZbyWAZS5oJG0ldPnzC2nTBf","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/4c0c0806b0d0093b836ec16866f1ea755c0d0e5e-1200x750.webp"}},"slug":"200628","title":"What about rain feels so lonely?"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:57:28Z","_id":"0987741b-8a8d-4269-b874-65984ac7892b","_rev":"azFv652yApQsa6RUFDyRh2","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T04:57:40Z","body":[{"_key":"734fbc700eef","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b86eb8bbf431","_type":"span","text":"A friend once told me he avoids telling his real name to others. He says he’s not willing to trust such information with just about anyone. “You can do whatever you want to someone once you know their full name”-he told me. While it may sound a bit paranoid, he was onto something. We can’t tell what anyone’s intentions are if we’re not familiar with their identities."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d8b21e95f712","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a8fe34891892","_type":"span","text":"Our evolutionary relatives, chimpanzees, use smiling to tell others their intentions are harmless and they need not be intimidated by them. It’s, in a way, a sign of submission and familiarity; a request for compassion. That might be why we humans get a reassuring feeling when we get smiled at. We’re wired to build trust in those who seem inoffensive, those whose intentions look clear."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f1877cd49c14","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7a74865b5d06","_type":"span","text":"Once we start getting acquainted with someone, we start making parallels between their identity and ours. Finding out we grew up in the same town or have a similar taste in music helps us see them as trustworthy. Over time, we empathize with them, their stories and their ways."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"da2d91296a39","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3d051a35cfa9","_type":"span","text":"Such relationships feed on the ability to be vulnerable. Although vulnerability can look a million different ways, for me, it’s about letting go of a little from yourself so you can have a little from others. Think about it, whether it’s your body, your security, or your time, you’re willingly risking part of you in order to bond with them."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9e5c12ebe5a6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"89f56d730203","_type":"span","text":"The deeper scars arise from the relationships between us and the ones whom we intentionally let into our lives; those who know us, those who love us, those who probably didn’t mean to hurt us."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"db9490f197c5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"74de21c16e73","_type":"span","text":"It’s because of this that some think "},{"_key":"98d52ec81c2d","_type":"span","marks":["6e2cb0a3d950"],"text":"mutual harm is inherent to human intimacy"},{"_key":"6a55b1c0242f","_type":"span","text":". Driving us to be cautious when interacting with others, sparing with our vulnerability; even when a reciprocal connection may lie ahead. And although I’m a strong believer of that myself, I think there may be a workaround for it."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"6e2cb0a3d950","_type":"link","href":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b75c84427db2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0963504435f8","_type":"span","text":"Think about the last time you hurt somebody you love. How did it happen? What were you trying to do? Have you forgiven yourself?"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9c9c344cafa9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"abfcdb5babdd","_type":"span","text":"We’ve all been hurt and disappointed before-that’s a fact. Likewise, we’ve all been on the other side as well, being the ones who hurt and disappoint. And, while accepting our pain as real and valid is fundamental, it’s "},{"_key":"e5125b4e4f22","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"trusting ourselves "},{"_key":"d8be403f36a1","_type":"span","text":"and our intentions that makes a difference."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f236f8fed27f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"77598ade97e8","_type":"span","text":"We could get hurt in the process but, in the end, we’re all looking for some warmth from others. We all share more commonalities than we may want to admit. Once we accept that none of us asked for this journey—"},{"_key":"ee435ce2db84","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"life"},{"_key":"928cf1a372a1","_type":"span","text":"—and that we’re all just trying to make it alive, forgiving those who hurt us comes more naturally."}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2020-03-07","description":[{"_key":"525c92116ec3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b8ac7d965bb3","_type":"span","text":"Whether we notice it or not, we take risks from the moment we introduce ourselves to someone else. But why would we do that?"}],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","_id":"image-f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4-1200x750-webp","_rev":"o3ZTn5zlR0cgiJYtXIflSm","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","assetId":"f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"VAHV6iMw00NKyD.8kXIURPr=00xZ~pbIozt8RjM{t7%M","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1.6,"height":750,"width":1200},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,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","palette":{"_type":"sanity.imagePalette","darkMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#493828","foreground":"#fff","population":1.23,"title":"#fff"},"darkVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#5f5525","foreground":"#fff","population":0,"title":"#fff"},"dominant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#867c74","foreground":"#fff","population":5.95,"title":"#fff"},"lightMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#c8b5a6","foreground":"#000","population":0.05,"title":"#fff"},"lightVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#f4f1e3","foreground":"#000","population":0.23,"title":"#000"},"muted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#867c74","foreground":"#fff","population":5.95,"title":"#fff"},"vibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#b7a347","foreground":"#000","population":0,"title":"#fff"}}},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4-1200x750.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4-1200x750.webp","sha1hash":"f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4","size":118582,"uploadId":"a8LDENY60fjxWoq6DHpGb4ukrQGBdvbX","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/f660c80c0856168d111d833c16aaf2333c7b66a4-1200x750.webp"}},"slug":"200307","title":"The risk of smiling"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:58:24Z","_id":"b3e22124-4fad-4972-8a03-1968897a9821","_rev":"azFv652yApQsa6RUFDyT7s","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T04:58:35Z","body":[{"_key":"1f1b4d3bce02","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d2c7a2651dc6","_type":"span","text":"I’m a constructive criticism advocate — or at least I try to. During my Art School years, I expected feedback from my projects when I presented them; real insights come from the outside. My way to show myself as willing to get my work roasted was roasting other people’s projects, or at least that’s how I made some of my classmates think about me. At the time, I didn’t know I was acting like that. But now, I see how my self-righteousness may have gotten between me and my academic life."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a4c828b2a75b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1624766f7a9f","_type":"span","text":"Lessons on assertiveness aside, I recently started noticing how positive of a role some people play in my life. I began appreciating the energy of those who can make anyone feel welcome. Like, you can’t help but being around them all the time. Such people make me laugh and smile, but more importantly, they inspire me to check myself."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"aad041a95ac4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"12fd59ce7b70","_type":"span","text":"It’s through experiences like these that I start questioning how I’m relating to others so I can be more deliberate about it in the future. It’s easy for me to shrink into my social bubble and intensify the circle-jerking as soon as I get confident. And, I won’t lie, being surrounded by like-minded people could be fun and usually makes me feel safe. But often, that safety turns away the best part of risk and challenge: learning."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8fdadbe33d98","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"565c2de16d6c","_type":"span","text":"Learning is what keeps gathering new experiences exciting. Of course, this is true when talking about the people who end up staying in my life for long and for good, but also when I encounter a random stranger during my commute and ask for the time. Every person I meet presents me an opportunity to learn from them and, ultimately, learn about myself."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"87545aad1ef5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3d5cace9986d","_type":"span","text":"Paying attention to what others say not only widens my perspective about my own opinions but also reveals the reasons behind their thought process. I’ve found out my parents, my friends, my peers and my clients are all, in their own ways, right. Learning became easier once I realized everyone is trying to make up for their own truth."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6baa1ab6c872","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2441fa594433","_type":"span","text":"All this might look obvious in hindsight, but it didn’t use to. I, pragmatic in nature, wanted to trust my sources, my experiences, my ways. And that makes sense. But my words, my craft and my knowledge do nothing if they don’t relate to the ones surrounding me."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"aaed6ad50dbf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"56710f5a61c8","_type":"span","text":"This week I started on a full-time position as a Graphic Designer; coincidentally, at the same company that interviewed me around 3 years ago. And I just can’t wait to try what’s not supposed to work."}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2020-02-22","description":[{"_key":"e5955aaef17f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"98a561583ec5","_type":"span","text":"For my first job interview, the employer asked me what I disliked in life, question I quickly gave an answer to. I didn’t get the job."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:38Z","_id":"image-0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd-750x578-webp","_rev":"o3ZTn5zlR0cgiJYtXIflVA","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:38Z","assetId":"0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"VNG8.kM{NtxaxF~XD$Sfs:V@?bD%9Fofof%gRj%2t7WU","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1.2975778546712802,"height":578,"width":750},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,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","palette":{"_type":"sanity.imagePalette","darkMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#504b33","foreground":"#fff","population":0.58,"title":"#fff"},"darkVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#233961","foreground":"#fff","population":0,"title":"#fff"},"dominant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#e9eef7","foreground":"#000","population":1.98,"title":"#000"},"lightMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#cfadae","foreground":"#000","population":1.87,"title":"#fff"},"lightVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#e9eef7","foreground":"#000","population":1.98,"title":"#000"},"muted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#9e6d68","foreground":"#fff","population":1.11,"title":"#fff"},"vibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#436ebb","foreground":"#fff","population":0,"title":"#fff"}}},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd-750x578.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd-750x578.webp","sha1hash":"0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd","size":23674,"uploadId":"DQIoAxxi8FjO3jTeg1fArq3m7yLNtjV1","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/0b53ba50fa469a370823a852ec7e3799aa1eb6dd-750x578.webp"}},"slug":"200222","title":"When hate is not enough"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:59:04Z","_id":"3dc225a7-b4c4-45c6-9a7f-4e943e35828a","_rev":"azFv652yApQsa6RUFDyUAK","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T04:59:16Z","body":[{"_key":"b2ac0ae3c973","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"58d2ca019ee9","_type":"span","text":"We experience life through the lens of both our senses and our feelings. Though, we don’t always understand what’s happening in our lives as we live them. It’s usually in retrospect, say when writing on a journal or talking to someone, that we "},{"_key":"66da58226df3","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"translate"},{"_key":"948900bd48ca","_type":"span","text":" into words what goes through our minds. Often, we get a clearer picture of those thoughts when doing so-that’s probably why we feel emotionally rewarded after venting our concerns with a good friend."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5a50413ae9aa","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5eede5dcf721","_type":"span","text":"But in reality, there are limits to verbal communication. Language is social. We assign words to all sorts of concepts-they serve as shorthands for more complex ideas. And we use references and context to make sense of these definitions; I’d probably struggle to describe the taste of Pepsi without mentioning Coke."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"243ded07decb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"67fe783c638e","_type":"span","text":"Luckily for us, there’s a plethora of words we can choose from. Some, more common than others; some, borrowed from other languages; some, we make up as we speak. Chances are, more people in the West would relate when talking about “water” than "},{"_key":"a9f0d110880b","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"“"},{"_key":"825242721e32","_type":"span","marks":["em","adc80441824e"],"text":"schadenfreude"},{"_key":"39e92ccfb949","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":".”"},{"_key":"25d1d55e222d","_type":"span","text":" But what about “"},{"_key":"9739ed2cb244","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"love"},{"_key":"104aa8d8c0f3","_type":"span","text":"”?"}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"adc80441824e","_type":"link","href":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2f1fa3316a6d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8103f5ff1c0e","_type":"span","text":"On the surface, the four-letter word sounds familiar. We’ve heard about it, read about it and probably even used it to label a feeling we once experienced. Though, when attempting to build a compelling definition for it, we come up short."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4bdfbc81d910","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bb626e0e2183","_type":"span","text":"So, is love always mutual? is it correlated to jealousy, anxiety and desire? is it meant to be experienced exclusively with one person per lifetime?"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"872f3a4ac8ed","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b9b7117ed59c","_type":"span","text":"We will never fully grasp what love is just by listening to what others have to say about it. We will never know if someone will ever experience love the way we do. We will never be in love the same way twice."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ff9378a0166c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a8bc8c462179","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"You can"},{"_key":"5faaedce2bce","_type":"span","text":" love "},{"_key":"a439888d9a2d","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"your significant other, of course, but also your mother, your pet hedgehog and even the strangers you encounter in your daily commute."}],"style":"blockquote"},{"_key":"9299e4ac29ec","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"342adb754e29","_type":"span","text":"I’ve gradually come to accept love as it is-to appreciate it without the expectations our culture has built around it. And I’m grateful for that. Now, it’s easier for me to spread love among those around and to allow myself to be loved in countless unique ways. Life is more enjoyable since."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e63bf99544f4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c367dbfa4d9e","_type":"span","text":"Love is like a color outside the visible spectrum, indescribable to those who haven’t seen it before. It could take the shape of a mindset or a lifestyle. It is, like any other emotion, personal and subjective. We just know when we feel it."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"892dfea81711","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"389b3a8f8df1","_type":"span","text":"What does love look like to you?"}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2019-12-26","description":[{"_key":"d8a0f659e488","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c14379283cfe","_type":"span","text":"Words may sometimes not be enough to describe what goes through our mind and senses, let alone our feelings."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:38Z","_id":"image-95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f-1200x750-webp","_rev":"ZLCqqZ0s5nw2cujJL5GGMl","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:38Z","assetId":"95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"VIHLe:0000~p-;%jM^n#WZt74mWBxuf6M{?akEWYjXWB","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1.6,"height":750,"width":1200},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/2wBDAAYEBQYFBAYGBQYHBwYIChAKCgkJChQODwwQFxQYGBcUFhYaHSUfGhsjHBYWICwgIyYnKSopGR8tMC0oMCUoKSj/2wBDAQcHBwoIChMKChMoGhYaKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCj/wAARCAANABQDASIAAhEBAxEB/8QAGAAAAwEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAcIBAb/xAAlEAABAwMCBgMAAAAAAAAAAAABAgMFAAQRBhIHExQhIlEWMcH/xAAWAQEBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQL/xAAaEQACAwEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQIRIQMS/9oADAMBAAIRAxEAPwDg2oqVM+mKbbXzE+XLOMgVQ7dj0sbZpK9y+WAoejUlfIJVmTXIovXuqPbfnvinfE8QrtcVah60Q45sAKy4ck+/qk+rWpFjFGnWCg3MlJIHgP2ilRrvUN5I6iefClMjaEhCVZAxRWfV6KP/2Q==","palette":{"_type":"sanity.imagePalette","darkMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#444852","foreground":"#fff","population":6.61,"title":"#fff"},"darkVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#358046","foreground":"#fff","population":0.02,"title":"#fff"},"dominant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#c7bca6","foreground":"#000","population":8.28,"title":"#fff"},"lightMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#c7bca6","foreground":"#000","population":8.28,"title":"#fff"},"lightVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#9fdaa7","foreground":"#000","population":0,"title":"#fff"},"muted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#97907b","foreground":"#fff","population":1.38,"title":"#fff"},"vibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#3fa44e","foreground":"#fff","population":0.07,"title":"#fff"}}},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f-1200x750.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f-1200x750.webp","sha1hash":"95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f","size":77576,"uploadId":"B18dWOzoOSPyamOJ9Z69671OIOpCLhhs","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/95fe8b8c2fb1a778f2314285c661d7f806f5e81f-1200x750.webp"}},"slug":"191226","title":"What if love were a color?"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T04:59:47Z","_id":"f345c6e0-f3c8-411a-b3d9-199470926d87","_rev":"azFv652yApQsa6RUFDyW6W","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T05:00:04Z","body":[{"_key":"6e0768fc0c9e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"83a49d2e41a2","_type":"span","text":"October 2019 was overwhelmingly emotional for me. I was not anticipating such a significant serotonin drop, which led me to experiment with ways to cope with the numbness of those cold, lonely days. That’s how I came to that exercise; I was trying to reverse-engineer the greatness of the past."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"da645c7b6ff8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"495ea58bc9a5","_type":"span","text":"As I recalled bits of those better times, I felt even worse because I knew they were all gone and not coming back. Though, I was going somewhere with that. Right when I was starting to idealize those memories, I realized those weren’t 100% perfect days, nor was I aware of how much of a good time I was having. It’s only in hindsight that I was able to perceive such days as the “best ones of my life.”"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a6ed14d0887e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e9aa11c6612c","_type":"span","text":"So, am I sentenced to enjoy life just through the memories of the past? Of course not. What that meant was days are not predetermined to be good or bad. I concluded every day has the potential to be the best or the worst. I started smiling."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a8e8cbea940c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"28ef4864803b","_type":"span","text":"Not every day will be great, but will present some great moments. There will be no one “best day;” and that’s where the magic comes in. Every day shows new opportunities to find happiness, fulfillment and lessons in unique ways. Life is just life and it’s up to us to seize the different events as we live through it."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fc11c5196f3d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0abc2fa956a4","_type":"span","text":"We experience life through our senses, but we remember it through the lens of our feelings."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ec548d0295cc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1ed2d98e3e43","_type":"span","text":"Feelings are not absolute; there is no one “true happiness.” Feelings are not replicable. Feelings are deeply personal by design. That’s why we must listen to them and make the most of what our heart is telling us."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8519877035a8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d632ed5d8f4c","_type":"span","text":"You will have many best-day-evers throughout your lifetime. They will all be entirely different. What matters is to enjoy every day for what it is (not for what we think it should be), for it’s never coming back."}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2019-11-29","description":[{"_key":"231e10d43abd","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"46d6111fffc5","_type":"span","text":"Picture one remarkable day in your life. Where were you? who were you with? what was different? Try to recall what that day was like."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":{"_type":"betterImage","asset":{"_createdAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","_id":"image-f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774-1200x750-webp","_rev":"3YgDx3g46EsrPA0uk9g6Ec","_type":"sanity.imageAsset","_updatedAt":"2025-03-11T23:01:37Z","assetId":"f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774","extension":"webp","metadata":{"_type":"sanity.imageMetadata","blurHash":"VPL4X3ae_3kB-=XAWBxua#M{~XoI4-WCRis:ayaej?kD","dimensions":{"_type":"sanity.imageDimensions","aspectRatio":1.6,"height":750,"width":1200},"hasAlpha":false,"isOpaque":true,"lqip":"data:image/jpeg;base64,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","palette":{"_type":"sanity.imagePalette","darkMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#232f45","foreground":"#fff","population":8.48,"title":"#fff"},"darkVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#224b75","foreground":"#fff","population":1.09,"title":"#fff"},"dominant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#232f45","foreground":"#fff","population":8.48,"title":"#fff"},"lightMuted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#bbb2ca","foreground":"#000","population":8.47,"title":"#fff"},"lightVibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#deb4d2","foreground":"#000","population":0.06,"title":"#fff"},"muted":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#5c7c9c","foreground":"#fff","population":0.01,"title":"#fff"},"vibrant":{"_type":"sanity.imagePaletteSwatch","background":"#397ec5","foreground":"#fff","population":0,"title":"#fff"}}},"mimeType":"image/webp","originalFilename":"f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774-1200x750.webp","path":"images/ewwkw94m/production/f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774-1200x750.webp","sha1hash":"f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774","size":10160,"uploadId":"EsjZ3xg1uahBlSd2qtwkDeuNSyUSCRty","url":"https://cdn.sanity.io/images/ewwkw94m/production/f279fa00057ccdd0a6d64e57da89bacd5b51d774-1200x750.webp"}},"slug":"191129","title":"Where’s your best day ever?"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T05:00:31Z","_id":"724e5d4d-734d-497d-8648-fbf30ab336ae","_rev":"c62fpPHnQFsJto6DjCjjvb","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T05:00:43Z","body":[{"_key":"c373f4254d3a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d4f5014c5c16","_type":"span","text":"I’ve always been one to make every single question that pops into my mind, both to others and to myself. And, in the past, I’ve been found overwhelmed by the endless interrogation process I put myself in."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4354dedc15d7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3a21441def44","_type":"span","text":"By trying to compensate for the knowledge I felt missing from my skill repertoire, I submerged myself into several best-sellers from authors I admire. In an attempt at understanding where I wanted to be, I drafted a path to get to success. And, in my pursuit for happiness, I developed a zero-tolerance protocol in order to get closer to the activities and people that make my life better and get away from those that don’t."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f96a18eac923","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"570e21e4464b","_type":"span","text":"It all sounds great, "},{"_key":"6f9e118c05ca","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"on paper"},{"_key":"932d09f94293","_type":"span","text":". And, in a way, it has been. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a human, as a professional and as a friend."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4ec7e31cd592","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"30a77e330f08","_type":"span","text":"Though, this pragmatic approach to happiness eventually started manifesting its limitations. Every time I found a great source of knowledge, I felt both enlightened by everything I learned by consuming the content and overwhelmed by my ignorance on the topics the author has indisputably mastered. My notes on the life choices I needed to make to get where I wanted to be consist of a never-ending Notion list of things I have not yet accomplished. And, pushing everything I didn’t want away from my life felt more like avoiding commitment than overcoming what held me back."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8cedd7811e08","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0d88fa9f2cb3","_type":"span","text":"In hindsight, I can see where I was going… but I wasn’t anticipating to get there this soon."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0e1bc9b30f12","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ae442fe0ecb2","_type":"span","text":"I still don’t know everything there is to know about Design, Marketing or Business. I still don’t manage my time as efficiently as I’d like to. And I still sometimes cringe a little when looking at myself in the mirror."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9512072d55e2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cb8d04b8c092","_type":"span","text":"Yet, I’ve been feeling surprisingly happy."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4d0d76b25ba9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"52ef8b79c0c5","_type":"span","text":"I’ve noticed I’m no longer focusing on what I don’t have, but on what I already do. I’ve accepted my flaws and current circumstances as a part of my never-ending journey. I’ve embraced gratitude for everything I’ve accomplished."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"34d2a11978eb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d880e22b2e35","_type":"span","text":"I’ve finally allowed happiness into my life."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"21d9f1c772b0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3cbfcad6c04f","_type":"span","text":"These past months have made for a great sandbox for introspection. But more importantly, I’m now aware my journey is about me as much as it is about those around. “"},{"_key":"8505925503e6","_type":"span","marks":["9164807f4773"],"text":"Happiness is only real when shared"},{"_key":"74d408f766ab","_type":"span","text":",” some say."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"9164807f4773","_type":"link","href":"https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1845.Into_the_Wild"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"708767f390fe","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cb6a6f4965fe","_type":"span","text":"I know new challenges will keep on getting in the way. I know there are situations yet to be solved, both in my head and in the world. I know this is just what happiness looks like for me as of August 2019."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ba16d051425e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b7e9e86d19cf","_type":"span","text":"But now I’m just excited about everything that’s yet to come. I somehow embraced my way into success. And that’s all I could ever ask for."}],"style":"normal"}],"date":"2019-08-26","description":[{"_key":"f1a77140de16","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d4edf6c089cd","_type":"span","text":"Recently, I’ve been feeling surprisingly happy. Though, I wasn’t ready to feel like this at this point in life."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":null,"slug":"190826","title":"Embracing my way into happiness"},{"_createdAt":"2025-08-17T05:01:05Z","_id":"356f9641-556c-4241-973d-df58e0cba51f","_rev":"c62fpPHnQFsJto6DjCjofX","_type":"post","_updatedAt":"2025-08-17T05:01:17Z","body":[{"_key":"4d226d2fd2f2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fa9e8e12f9a1","_type":"span","text":"I’m a late millennial born in 1996. I turned 18 in 2014. My friends at the time got me in tears when they organized a surprise party for my birthday. I had just completed high school and was glad I made it alive. Although my grades and my reputation were very average, I felt like my teenage life was a disaster (who didn’t?)."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"049785c464d6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"15346d88a316","_type":"span","text":"In 2014 I got rejected by the person I liked, got my first kiss and met the first person I loved. In 2014 I enrolled a major I initially didn’t want because my admission score was lower than the one I needed for the major I dreamed about for years. In 2014 I met a lot of new people and stopped talking to many long–time friends, both for better and for worse."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fad2b41ea6c6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3c59c6f59862","_type":"span","text":"I did not enjoy my university classes at the time, yet I got very good grades with little to no effort. I had lots of free time, which translated into a very productive year to craft design shots for my now deleted dribbble account. I felt like I didn’t fit with my English major classmates, but I also wasn’t admitted into Graphic Design."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d857f0d5cf63","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e48198d37acf","_type":"span","text":"I was confused."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"85d1776307d3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"eb49fbe84682","_type":"span","text":"The first half of 2019 is now over. I just turned 23. I just obtained my degree on Graphic Design. I just finished my first internship as a Designer."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3dc67e16ebf1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ddc660e0e8f7","_type":"span","text":"I now have a lot more spare time than I used to during my university years. I now keep on learning through reading books, listening to podcasts and taking online courses. I now actively try to follow a routine so I can make the most of my days."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f58f60e6e396","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8373f0dc66e2","_type":"span","text":"I ended the relationship with that girl I loved since 2014. I don’t see the friends I made in university as often as I used to. I decided not to look for a stable job yet."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0b81b48ac684","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"52fae6f249c2","_type":"span","text":"I am confused."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e40cb62c6315","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6e0c5b370765","_type":"span","text":"During those five years, a lot of things happened to me. I saw people in my life come and go. I discovered many activities I like. I loved some aspects about university and hated others."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"017414746fa8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1e8c75d3dc95","_type":"span","text":"Between 2014 and 2019 I learned a whole lot about my major, about relationships and about me. At one point, I even felt like I had it all under control. But then I started realizing how little I know about everything."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e6999195179b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f31770303d04","_type":"span","text":"Truth is… I still don’t fully understand everything about Design, about having relationships with other people, or about who I am. And I never will. And I don’t have to do that to start living a better life. And that’s the beauty of it all."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d2575bfae2cc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f3c111d55227","_type":"span","text":"I will embrace."}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"62ad1963a242","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2e23bd0bc89b","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Bonus:"},{"_key":"a933f7d630e1","_type":"span","text":" Music is the only thing that makes me remember this much about my past. Here I’ll list some of the EPs and albums I enjoyed in 2014 that I still listen to in 2019:"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a92730d72a30","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ed3ccca97c22","_type":"span","text":"Cashmere Cat, “Wedding Bells”"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","style":"normal"},{"_key":"67125c10ef74","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6f66071fb31f","_type":"span","text":"Porter Robinson, “WORLDS”"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","style":"normal"},{"_key":"52a4761675ce","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ac09edf8267d","_type":"span","text":"fwdslxsh, “The Fall”"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","style":"normal"},{"_key":"e34fdcdbd257","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9618f0a01e7f","_type":"span","text":"Ta–ku, “Songs to Make up to”"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","style":"normal"},{"_key":"fa257f299e7d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e2af6f3e18f8","_type":"span","text":"Yung Bae, “BAE”"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","style":"normal"}],"date":"2019-07-14","description":[{"_key":"20a1dd3dfbec","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fe4710d79bbf","_type":"span","text":"2014 was a defining year for who I am now. I felt very confused for years and… when I thought I had it, 2019 hit me even harder."}],"style":"normal"}],"image":null,"slug":"190714","title":"Becoming who I used to be"}],"slug":"journal","title":"Journal"}